Sunday 30 December 2012

Honey I'm Home

I know its been three years.... I moved to my new home with Jake and step daughter.  November passed and as I got into December things eased, I still wasn't happy and had the odd tear here and there, set off by a song usually. Looking back it was Susan Boyles' version of Wild Horses that would do it. 
I saw her once or twice and boy did it hurt but at least I had some sort of inner peace albeit  outweighed by constant loneliness.  December gave way to a new year and on January 2nd I received a text message from her.  I didn't want to read it, no thats not true, I read it....."I dont want a divorce" She managed to totally throw me. I didn't reply. Ten minutes later another text asking why I wouldn't reply. The truth was I was scared,  she tore my heart out and could I ever let myself feel that vulnerable again?  I sent a text back explaining that I was driving and would call her later as I couldn't do this by text.  I kidded myself that I needed time to think.  I didn't,  its always been her.
We agreed to take things slow.  She had my name tattooed on her hand as a gesture (shes got a needle phobia so this was a pretty big gesture.) We didn't take things slow and  she had moved in within weeks. Things have been up and down but we've settled into a routine. 
Im happy now. My life has changed so much in the three years.  I now have friends and apart from my current job I tell everyone about my Aspergers,  its worked well, I have friends, they frequently describe me as wonderfully inappropriate.  Every day is a challenge dealing with different social situations.  I lost my job as a sound designer and the freelance work dried up.  Im not sure working from home was that good for me.  As I have no real qualifications I ended up in a call centre,  did a stint in a care home and have been recently been working as a sales rep. 
I decided to start my blog again because the story had an ending and I hadn't told it. When I decided to blog again I realised the story doesn't end so heres to more fun.