Friday, 6 November 2009

Day 24: Cinnamon Girl

I've spent most of the first half of the day worrying about work. More rumours of cuts and senior management meetings. I survived the last set by the skin of my teeth. I hope nothings going to happen, I like my job and I'm pretty good at it. I've been working for the same company for 14 years too. That wasn't just a case of not wanting a routine change I really do get a buzz from what I do. The big problem is that I work in a niche market and getting another job doing what I'm doing would be pretty impossible. I would have to retrain and doubt I would find anything that pays what I get now, also I work from home. I have spoken to a couple of people about my fears of loosing my job. I don't think they understand how all encompassing the the thought of change can be to an Aspie mind, which I find strange because it's Aspies not NT's who are supposed to have a problem with empathy! All I can do is use my new ability (learnt after my split) and push the thoughts to the back of my mind until Monday when I should know.
So far all the work thoughts are spoiling me wanting to be excited about my move. I've spoken to Step Daughter a lot. She has the keys and is busy moving in. I keep getting little snippets of feedback on what she's found or how we'll need this or that. I haven't bought myself and Jake beds yet. I'm hoping to do all those bits online in the next couple of day. In fact there's a lot I need to buy. I'm busy trying to get Jake into the school with the best special needs department in the area. He is very aware of his social shortfalls, he's only really had 3 friends in the 9 years he's lived with me. 13, I remember is an age when you really do start to notice just how different you are from the other kids. I remember how awkward it was in social situations, this is also when I started using alcohol to overcome some of my problems in social situations.
I'm going to go to the supermarket when Jake gets back from school. I need a boost, I need to see a certain checkout girl.